For a while now, my wife has been keeping this big ass pet spider out back. Whenever we see it…we have to make double sure that we don’t walk through it’s web and that we leave it alone. I’m fairly certain that it’s going to bite me while I’m getting a new beer or something…because as far as it knows…every time I’m even sorta near it…I’m attempting to fuck with it. Even taking this picture…it raised up on it’s “tippy-tippy” spider toes and poised itself on it’s web to bite the shit out of me. Oh…and it’s fluorescent orange on its back…is that bad? I’m gonna squish it!