Mediocre Merch!

T&D Musical Bottle Opener


Choose a size:

Yep. It’s a beer finger!

You read that correctly. This is a one of a kind bottle opener that will play the theme song of “A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan” every single time that you go to open a frosty beverage! We’re not really sure how it works but we’re assuming that it has something to do with the conductivity of the metal bottle opener on the metal bottle cap. What the fuck do we look like, scientists? Of course we don’t. We more look like a girl with a Navel haircut who has high blood pressure, and a 40 year old gnome who is having an extremely difficult time letting go of his youth. We hope you enjoy this unique item as much as we do.



Tom and I hope you love what you’ve ordered from But in case you don't—perhaps it's a little too small - too big - it’s not what you expected - or the style just isn't working for you—we'll send you a new size, color, or style, or issue you a quick refund. No problem! Returns and exchanges are super easy when you email:

You have up to 30 days to return items purchased from our online store or from a “Tom and Dan” event. Now I know this goes without saying but there’s no way that we can take a used item back for a refund or exchange. You wore it and washed it? You lost it leaving an event and found it later in a mud puddle? Sadly - it’s now yours. Give it to your little sister or a homeless person. Thanks for the advertising! If you have yet to wear it, wash it, or destroy it and need us to make an exchange for you - email and our “merch God” will walk you through the steps of making a proper return. We’re here you make you happy and really want that to go down! You guys mean the world to us!

If we receive your return and deem it used in any way or a piece of merch that we can no longer offer to other listeners as “new merch” - T&D Media reserves the right to decline your exchange. Sorry. People like to scam and to insure that we’re not having to deal with stuff like that - this just has to be said. If you’re cool - we’re cool. We cool? Cool.




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